Mixed Marriages and My Family

Mixed marriages came way long before my time and it's nothing new on my mother's side of the family. Especially in Malaysia, where I came from, it is without a doubt, eurasians form part of the Malaysian society whether they are a result of mixed marriages or traditionally inherited the breed of interracial marriage. Since it is a common phenomenon, probably it would be best if we were to have a more open recognition of the diversity of Malaysians' origins. For example in West Malaysia, there are a majority of the Malaysian Portuguese, who are considered eurasians because of their past historical influence and mixed marriages. They have been given an identity by the locals as 'serani' or 'nasrani' in malay. In Sarawak, intermarriages between Sarawak's 25 ethnic groups has been common, but until recently most of the mixed marriages have been between indigenous groups with similar backgrounds. Now, though, mixed marriages have expanded to encompass unions with Chinese, Malays, and even Europeans and Americans.

A couple of great examples are my two older brothers. The eldest is married to a Kayan, one of the 25 ethnic group found in Baram. Like the dayak, they are known for being warriors, and have extensive tattoos and stretched earlobes amongst male and female. Here is an example of how an elderly kayan will look like.

They have settled in Sarawak on the middle Baram river, the Bintulu river and along the Rajang river. As what I can recall, my sister in-law came to the city to look for a job and that is where she met my eldest brother. They now have 3 children and the children are able to speak in both their parents ethnic language, which helps bridge the communication gap between both sides, because my sister in-law's parents doesn't speak our language. Next is my second brother who marries an iban girl from Bintulu. Wikipedia define iban as a branch of the dayak people of Borneo. They were formerly known during the colonial period by the British as Sea Dayaks. Ibans were renowned for practising headhunting, but the days of headhunting and piracy are long gone. Here's a picture of a long house in Tatau, Bintulu where her family resides.

The long house is called rumah panjai , and are equipped with modern facilities. My second brother have 3 children and are very fluent in their mother's tongue. Here is a link showing the traditional longhouse and their traditional dance too. http://www.tmd3.com/Southeast_Asia/Malaysia/Longhouse_Trip_Web/index.htm

This is where I came into the picture. Although after convincing myself for years and years that I would be a full time career person, with a group of steady girlfriends to hang out, a steady job and a pretty house that I pay with my own sweat from the handsome pay that I earn each month. Over the years, I have never thought of marriage, I was happy with my life. Out of the blue and never in my wildest dream that I thought I would eventually get married, but here I am, I thought cupid's arrow would miss it's target, I was wrong, and I was caught. The ideal of this marriage is having a mixed marriage kid and probably female ideal of domestic bliss? Well, I am well into my 9 years of marriage, and we have a handsome little rascal, who drives me up the wall every day and I am eager for him to be in Kindergarten soon, which will be in a couple of weeks.Pheww! Although we only have 1 child, being currently a stay-at-home mom I feel like I am up there fighting the California wildfire trying to control the mess in the house. When I am putitng down rules for him, I am being called a 'meanie' and so forth, and when he is hurt, he wants to cuddle with this 'meanie'! Here's a picture of our son.

For some interracial marriage, some would have to endure conflict with extended family members, and family alienation is one of many hurdles interracial couples may have to jump into. Societal discrimination, cultural differences, although for me, we have no language barriers. Despite the inherent difficulties of mixing two cultures into one romantic union, some mixed-race couples actually have stronger relationships as a result of the unique experiences they endure. Like any marriages, we have our ups and downs, otherwise it will not be called a marriage wtihout those excitement!